Dear Blog Readers:
I want to present to you a quote. Because I have been having some thoughts about this quote, and maybe sharing my ideas and listening to yours would be cathargic.
“Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work.” Flaubert
About this idea by Flaubert; I have read or heard a quote somewhere about every person having a novel inside of them (and what lacks in every person is the possibility of realizing said novel.) I am of the people that dream of someday seeing their name printed on the side of a book, of flipping the pages of that is which is her work.
And not because of any other reason than because I have the desire of writing something. I don't want to be famous throughout what I write or sell the rights to my work and become rich, but I know that I have this novel inside of me and if only I had the time or perseverance to make of this ambition of a novel into reality. I have plotted and even started several stories, stories which I plan to be thousands of words long, because I feel the inspiration. And, I never finish them.
But I don't intend on writing about my lack of realization, but of something that I have realized time and again when coming to the spark of the point that all authors have, and that is the IDEA. And, I know, all authors put a bit of their life and their experience into what they write, and the characters are all in part real people, but when does this become too much? Because maybe this is what Flaubert meant; if you have dreams and ambitions, but live a calm, unfulfilled life, the life of someone normal and maybe even boring, and realize all your craziest ambitions throughout your work, then you can become a great artist. But what does this make of you as a person? Look at Gogol, or so many other geniuses that have fallen into suicidal vice or simply into suicide.
So, if one day you dream about dyeing your hair red, and going to Africa to teach children how to read, of doing something wild and way out of your league, but the next day you have had the inspiration of the story of your life, to be written down as immeadiately as possible, but this story includes a character, a hero, that dyes their hair red and goes to Africa and does something wild and out of their league, what then?
Because, this is the problem that I have been facing as of late. I cannot create a story without creating a story that should be mine, if maybe I had the guts or the romanticisim of had been born in another situation in another family in another country.
And what if you have the talent?
Should you live a reckless life, or be reckless in your work? Because, what seems obvious to me, is that is quite impossible to do both. And this breaks my heart.